Friday, July 21, 2006

Insert Tab A into Slot B

Those of you with kids know that one of the things we SuperDads look forward to the most is installing the new car safety seat. The SuperGrandParents bought a new child seat so that they could take my 2-year-old daughter for a drive in their PT Cruiser...

(TANGENT: Can anyone tell me why this car is categorized as an SUV? If a PT Cruiser is an SUV, then Milli Vanilli is Led Zeppelin.)

This was a big step for me since riding with my dad sounds something like this...

VROOM, SCREECH, HONK, "Jackass!", VROOM, SCREECH, HONK, "Jackass!"

So there we were, SuperPopPop and I, staring at the seat, staring at the car, staring at the seat, staring at the car. We finally had the brilliant idea to check the instruction manual that came with the seat. Now this went something like this...

"Look, we just MAKE these things. Check the owner's manual for your car to see how to actually INSTALL it."

SuperDad opens car manual...

"Look we just make cars. Why don't you actually read the instruction manual that came with your car seat to see how to actually INSTALL it."

(Somewhere in the distance, I hear, "We control the horizontal...We control the vertical...")

At this point, I begin to recall some of my favorite labels and manuals of all-time. One of them was a label that was stuck to a 7-UP cake that SuperMom and I had at a party one time. The label proudly read, "Made with 7-UP". Clearly, these people belong to Mensa. My all-time favorite is on the bag of Peanut M&M's..."Warning: May contain nuts". May? A lot of people are going to be pretty pissed off if they don't.

I believe I was talking about the car seat. At this point, lacking any clear set of instructions, my only redeeming thought is, "Well, I was always pretty good at Tetris, I should be able to figure this out." After trying to install the seat in the left-rear seat, the center-rear seat, the roof, the trunk, we finally decide that the left-rear is the place to be. After all, she's only 2...she's got to have a window or it will be, "Pop pop, I have a booger" for the next 60 miles.

We finally jam a knee into the seat (what 2-year-old is as heavy as a grown man ramming his knee and all his body weight into a seat??), secure the LATCH system (don't get me started), and we're done. My wife comes outside with cold drinks to save the day. It was a "3-T-shirt" experience (I'll save that explanation for next time).

2 comments:

Lauren said...

You really had me laughing on this one. As you know, I... am the car seat installation queen!

SuperDad said...

I know. I thought you would like it.