Tuesday, March 13, 2007

T-Minus 5 Months and Counting

The reality is starting to sink in now. There will be another living, breathing human being in our house by the time Fall rolls around. In just 3 or 4 weeks we will get to see whether God "put the stem on the apple".

Of course, we will just be happy to have a healthy baby but I can't help but wonder what's in there. I know that my 'little' brother is hoping for a boy to take off some of 'the heat', as he calls it.

For that matter, we were beginning to wonder how MANY kids were in there. The doctor reassured us that there is only one baby. We were getting worried, though. I guess once a woman is getting ready for her third baby, her body just says, "Look, we've all been through this before...get into position, everyone!" BOOM!

The late-night cravings are fun too. Tonight I ran down to the store and got a couple of "Shivers"...one with Oreo (for her) and one with m&m's (for me). I now feel like I need to run a few laps around the house. My arteries are begging for mercy.

We're only at 4 months and the snoring has already kicked in. Of course, I have absolutely no room to talk. I often could pass for a small motorboat in the middle of the night. I've tried the sprays, the humidifiers, the nasal strips (did anyone actually try to SLEEP with one of those on their nose before they started marketing them??). Doesn't matter...I still snore.

I come by it honestly, though. My father is the loudest snorer on the planet. When I was a kid, I would sneak out of my bedroom, close my parents' bedroom door, close my bedroom door (which was at the other end of the hall), put a pillow over my head, and I could STILL hear dad snoring. It was like in the old cartoons where the guy inhales and the curtains gets sucked into his mouth.

I remember one time when he fell asleep on the couch in the family room in front of the T.V. He snored so loudly that he jumped about a foot.

"What was THAT?", he said.

"Some guy just ran through the house with a chainsaw, Dad."

From my mother, I inherited an even better trait. I often seem to shout in my sleep for no apparent reason. Well, for no reason that's apparent to my wife. I could tell you exactly what I'm yelling at in my dream.

The other night, I snuggled up close to my wife in my sleep and let out a nice, romantic, "AAARRRRGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!"

Trust me, you have never seen a pregnant woman jump like that. I sort of half woke myself up and we laughed for a good 10 minutes before we fell back asleep.

The poor kid in her belly probably wanted out right then and there. We're lucky that I haven't woken up the kids...although I do seem to yell out their names in my sleep. I guess they don't listen to me in my dreams either.