Can't Spell DAD without A.D.D.

Is it just me or do you almost have to have A.D.D. to be a good dad these days? I've often wondered about this when forced to "multi-task" with my children. It seems to me... that we're all born with A.D.D. and then we outgrow it at some later stage in life (hopefully). Heck, we practically encourage this behavior in our kids every holiday season, don't we?

"Open this one. Isn't that nice? Say 'thank you'. Now, open this one. Isn't that nice? Say 'thank you'.", etc, etc. Some of us outgrow it, some of us don't.

I've become so attuned to what is happening around me at all times that sometimes it's diffcult just to have a conversation with my wife. God forbid one of my kids drops something or someone flicks on a light somewhere in the house. My eyes automatically "follow the light". When the house gets too quiet, that's when I get worried.

"No noise? Something must be wrong. Maybe they've killed each other!"

This makes swimming fun. One is in the deep end, one is in the shallow end. One went off the diving board and hasn't resurfaced yet, one pooped in her swim diaper (who invented THESE things? they must be the 'pita wrap' of the diaper family and they're about as absorbent as wax paper).

While we're on the topic of swimming, why is it that if we take the kids somewhere new, the DAD has to be the first one to strip down to the swimsuit and take the kids into the pool? My wife is gorgeous but she doesn't want anyone we don't know to see her in a bathing suit. Me, I've got more body hair than most Cro-Magnons but put me in a loin cloth and drop me in the middle of the street and suddenly I'm Frank "the Tank" in Old School. "We're going streaking through the quad!"

Well, I had a point when I started this. I forgot what it was, though. Maybe I DO have A.D.D.!