Monday, June 16, 2008

She Pooped a Sticker

Well, that was the punchline, hope you enjoyed it. There's not that much more to tell, really. Once you see something like that, nothing will ever surprise you again.

OK, ok...I'll give you a FEW more details. The other night, as we were sitting down to dinner, our 4-year-old daughter came over and put a pink, heart-shaped sticker on the back on my hand. Being a hairy guy, I really love this, by the way. I always smile and lovingly accept the sticker, knowing that later, I will be ripping hair follicles from my flesh in an effort to remove the thing.

Anyway, we ate dinner, the sticker was on my hand, life was good. I never really thought any more about it until the next day when I noticed that the sticker was gone. Must have fallen off, I though. Right.

My wife called me at work that morning in hysterics. Apparently, our 9-month-old daughter had unleashed a whopper.

"You will never believe what's in our daughter's diaper!"

OK, I thought. There are really only two choices, in my book...neither of them are really anything I care to think about in any amount of great detail, especially while at work.

It seems that neither "number one" nor "number two" were the proper choices in this case. You see, there was a mysterious "number three"...a pink, heart-shaped sticker was apparently conducting an experiment in osmosis with "number two".

I remember picking her up after dinner and carrying her over to the sink to clean off her hands...and face, and hair, and eyebrows, and eyelashes, and ears, and know what it's like when a 9-month-old feeds herself. She tends to look like she's been in a Thanksgiving Day food fight after every meal.

Anyway, all I can figure is that, while I was distracted, she must have peeled the sticker off my hand and thought it looked down the hatch it went.

Like Bill Cosby says, "Babies have no digestive system. IN a raisin....OUT a raisin."

So the lesson here is that I guess we need to keep a closer eye on what's around the baby at all times. Babies are faster than they seem. She can turn off the computer before I even realize she's under my chair.

Lesson learned. Hey! Has anyone seen my watch??


Poltzie said...

Ha that is great! Sometimes our dog poops out her toys but I think a sticker is much better :)

Lisa~Crazy Adventures in Parenting said...

omg, I laughed and hard! Soo true!

Ali said...

My kids have all had their share of pooping out things that shouldn't be pooped out. Stickers, pennies, and one time I had one poop out a small plastic piece of a toy (which, I ended up cleaning off, and putting back on the toy.) It's amazing how those things can go through!

Oh, the things us parents get to witness.


Elizabeth said...

that is hilarious!

The Sports Mama said...

At least the sticker was given to you FIRST.... ;)

Karen said...

I haven't laughed like that in while! What great story.

Anonymous said...

Chris - I remember when my son ate a dime. I distinctly remember him clutching at his chest the day before and I couldn't figure out why. Little did I know he was having a difficult time getting the dime down. The next day in his diaper was a dime that looked like it just came off the press. It was shiny and new looking. Little did I know that the acids in your stomach made dimes look brand new.

Patty Pierce