She Pooped a Sticker

Well, that was the punchline, hope you enjoyed it. There's not that much more to tell, really. Once you see something like that, nothing will ever surprise you again.

OK, ok...I'll give you a FEW more details. The other night, as we were sitting down to dinner, our 4-year-old daughter came over and put a pink, heart-shaped sticker on the back on my hand. Being a hairy guy, I really love this, by the way. I always smile and lovingly accept the sticker, knowing that later, I will be ripping hair follicles from my flesh in an effort to remove the thing.

Anyway, we ate dinner, the sticker was on my hand, life was good. I never really thought any more about it until the next day when I noticed that the sticker was gone. Must have fallen off, I though. Right.

My wife called me at work that morning in hysterics. Apparently, our 9-month-old daughter had unleashed a whopper.

"You will never believe what's in our daughter's diaper!"

OK, I thought. There are really only two choices, in my book...neither of them are really anything I care to think about in any amount of great detail, especially while at work.

It seems that neither "number one" nor "number two" were the proper choices in this case. You see, there was a mysterious "number three"...a pink, heart-shaped sticker was apparently conducting an experiment in osmosis with "number two".

I remember picking her up after dinner and carrying her over to the sink to clean off her hands...and face, and hair, and eyebrows, and eyelashes, and ears, and pants...you know what it's like when a 9-month-old feeds herself. She tends to look like she's been in a Thanksgiving Day food fight after every meal.

Anyway, all I can figure is that, while I was distracted, she must have peeled the sticker off my hand and thought it looked yummy...so down the hatch it went.

Like Bill Cosby says, "Babies have no digestive system. IN a raisin....OUT a raisin."

So the lesson here is that I guess we need to keep a closer eye on what's around the baby at all times. Babies are faster than they seem. She can turn off the computer before I even realize she's under my chair.

Lesson learned. Hey! Has anyone seen my watch??