Something off My Chest

I had a very traumatic experience the day after my 35th birthday. As I got into the shower, I let out a scream that startled my wife, who was getting ready for work herself...

Yes, I found my first grey chest hair. At first, I thought perhaps it wasn't attached. Surely, this is a hair from my dog that has attached itself to me. I went to pull it off of me...and it hurt.

My wife, kind person that she is, snipped it right off for me...there's a visual. Now at least I don't have to think about it until it grows back.

As if it weren't bad enough that I look like Chewbacca on Rogaine, I now have hair that is turning on me.

It gets worse. I'm now doing things that my parents used to do. When I'm upset at my kids, I start calling them by the wrong names. I find myself saying things like, "Don't make me come in there again!" and "I will turn this car around if you don't cut it out right now!"

The annual Fall time-change has also been a real treat. My 2-year-old is now waking up at 6am, raring to go. At 6am, I can't even remember how to open the bedroom door yet my daughter comes in, picks up the remote, and turns on "The Wiggles".

Then there's tonight.....Halloween! I took both of our girls 'trick or treating', one as a vampiress and the other as a doctor. Me, I went as Neo. Of course, once I saw the picture that my wife took, it occured to me that Neo doesn't really have a slightly receding hairline but, hey, what the hell?

We left the house with lots of energy and enthusiasm. By the fourth house I was carrying a bucket of candy, a stethoscope, and a doctor...which is ironic because, by then, it looked as though Neo might need one.