School of Rude Awakenings

As far as potty training is concerned, out little 2-year-old is making great strides. She can wear "big girl" underwear all day go accident-free. Bed-time, however, is another story...

When it's time for bed, my wife and I put Sophia back in a pull-up...just in case. It's clear to me now that this practice will soon have to stop. You see, we've run up against "The Rude Awakening".

2-year-olds wake up pretty early as it is. Nothing, though, beats hearing my daughter call my name in the baby monitor at 5:45am, poking my head into her bedroom, and hearing her proudly exclaim "I pooped!"

There are few things that I want to do at 5:45am. Walking, talking, showering, exercising...not on my list. By the way, these people that love to talk about how they wake up every day at 5am, walk 10 miles, ride a bike 15 miles, carry a boulder on their back for another 10 miles, then go to the gym really piss me off. I don't even like walking to the shower first thing in the morning, let alone doing a Richard Simmons impersonation. If anyone that perky comes up to me first thing in the morning and starts talking to me, they better duck.

Anyway, the LAST thing I want to see at 5:45am is a stinky diaper. There is something special about these morning poops, too. You see, they have had almost 10 hours to prepare for their release into the free world. It's almost as if they WANT to see you work to clean them up.

I really don't know how my wife manages to use just 1 baby wipe. I seem to get a wipe, wipe, throw away, get a wipe, wipe, throw away, get a wipe, wipe, throw away. Then again, I never understood the handkerchief either. That's a fun invention. Some guy says, "Hey, you know what would be great? We could carry a piece of cloth around with us that we can blow our noses in. Then we can put the snot-rag back in our pockets for later." Great one.

So, I think we will have to try underwear at bedtime. I think it will help her resist the urge. Otherwise, we're using a cork.