A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away

Hi. I am the father of two wonderful little girls and I'm here to share my experiences with you. My brilliant, little deductions are 2 (going on 5) and 9 (going on 17). My 2-year-old is my own flesh & blood and my 9-year-old is my step-daughter... Have you ever heard people refer to someone or something as being treated "like a red-headed step-child"? My advice...watch who you say that around because you might just find someone like me dumping Mentos in your 2-liter bottle of Coke.

(TANGENT: As an aside here, why do we need so many varieties of Coke? I mean now we have Coke, Caffeine Free Coke, Diet Coke, Caffeine Free Diet Coke, Diet Coke with Lime, Diet Vanilla Coke, Diet Black Cherry Vanilla Coke, Cherry Coke, Diet Cherry Coke, Coke Zero, C2 Coke, and I'm sure I've forgotten a few. Do we really need this many choices? It's hard enough for me to pick out a shirt and tie that match every morning, let alone choose from a dozen varieties of the same soft drink.)

Anyway, back to my kids. My mission here will be to help you realize that you are not the only one in the world with insane kids. Nothing makes me prouder than hearing my older daughter tell me, "Daddy, sometimes....when I laugh really hard....I fall down." Nothing warms my heart more than when my 2-year-old little princess turns to me when we're playing on the floor and says, "Daddy, you smell like bad mouth."

These are the Kodak moments that make changing all those diapers (without puking once, I might add....EVER) worthwhile. I can't wait to share more of them with you.