Potty training. Few things make me shudder like seeing my wife leave for work on a Saturday while our 2-year-old daughter sits in the family room watching TV with absolutely no pants on whatsoever.
I try to influence her telepathically..."No accidents, no accidents, no accidents."
She approaches our leather sofa.
"No, no, honey, I saved this special spot on the floor JUST for you," I say.
It seems to be working.
The other day as we sat eating brunch at a local Dunkin' Donuts, our 2-year-old announced that she had to "go potty."
My wife got up and took her.
About 5 minutes later, our daughter came flying across the crowded shop shouting proudly at the top of her lungs, "DADDY, DADDY, I WENT PEE PEE IN THE POTTY!!!"
She then received a rousing ovation from every single patron in the restaurant as SuperMom and I exchanged embarrassed glances.